A few of my favourite posts…

So you’re new here, huh?

You’re not sure quite know what to expect? What sort of writing you’ll be reading? To help you out (and to encourage you to subscribe!) I have listed a few of my favourite blog posts to whet your appetite. Bon appetit!

The first post you should read is How The Italian Broke my Heart. It’s a five parter, but oh, so worth it. You will learn more about me (and my writing) than probably any other post. Plus it’s a great read!

Next, I would recommend reading The Lottery of Location, which is essentially a post about gratitude, and how lucky I am to be born where I am. In Australia.

If you want to see me get my rant on, read Why job hunting sucks. The title of this post says it all, really.

Writing is about making the reader feel something. If you can read Why I walked 5 kms in a gale without being moved, then I have failed as a writer. This post also explains why I have joined the cult of running.

Commentary about social media and corporate communications is also something I do on a regular basis. How to tweet the @groovybruce way (and why it works) was viewed by Bruce Campbell himself. How do I know this, I hear you ask? Because he retweeted it, I respond. And you should have seen my stats on that day! Through the roof, baby

Speaking of celebrities, in I’ve got a confession to make (or how I spent the night with an amazing man), I talk about how I spent the night with Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters… in a non-groupie way, of course.

To counteract the last two recommended posts, and because I’m not just about celebrity adulation, you should read Why I am writing to an inmate on death row… and What people want.

And lastly, a contemplative post Letter to my 16 year old self, which will get you thinking about your life, and what you’ve learned and what you have achieved. I hope.

So. This post is a taste of what you can expect from other posts I write. And if you like you what you read, be sure to subscribe. I can guarantee that reading this blog will can only make you even more awesome than you already are!

A European vacation

I am currently in Europe, which means I won’t be posting to this blog any time soon.

If you are interested though, I am writing about my trip – which includes a three week cruise of the Mediterranean plus a two week tour of Italy – in my travel blog The Travelling Homebody.

Judge, jury and executioner

This guest post is by Natascha Dowsett, who I first met on Twitter and, I’m proud to say, has since become a real life friend. Natascha has worked in feature films, hospitality, recruitment and communications. An entrepreneur, she owns a Big Picture PR and Social Media for Sales Superstars. You can also find her on Twitter as @TaschaD and she’d love you to say hello!

I would shout it from the roof tops if I could: I LOVE TWITTER! The people I have met and loved getting to know and the friends that I have made on this social media platform means Twitter has been an amazing experience (that unfortunately, people like my mother never got to have at my age). I have been invited to dinners, on bus tours, wine trips and launches, and was even head-hunted for a job via Twitter once (that is a huge can of worms I won’t open up here, though!)

So as you can see, Twitter is so inclusive and friendship-oriented that there is nothing wrong with it. RIGHT?

WRONG! And here’s why.

1. Anonymity and lack of context

Social media in general has one flaw… people can say things without having to actually say them to your face. There is a lot of blunt, reactionary comments that happen on Twitter and this is due to the 140 character-limit you have in which to state your opinion. You don’t have to see someone’s reaction, so normal empathy cues can be blocked.

Lack of a sarcasm or an “I’m just joking” font can also cause confusion. Let’s be honest: most of us enjoy making people laugh and without some way of using our tone of voice it can sometimes start a Twitter fire, which you then have to put out quickly. Or not. Some people like watching the burn.

2. Lack of patience with newbies

One of my biggest pet peeves on Twitter is people getting upset or telling-off newbies, or people who link their Twitter and Facebook account.

Let’s address the newbie aspect: THEY ARE NEW! They are learning and they are so weirded-out by Twitter the last thing they need is to feel stupid. If they put the wrong hashtag in, too many hashtags OR God forbid, don’t respond straight away, is it really up to you to tell them off?

I don’t know about you but it’s like teaching your children: do you yell at them when they get their homework wrong, or do you encourage their growth and support them?

Think about it next time you are about to do this as you may be putting someone off Twitter all together, and then they will miss out on all the wonderful experiences you have been lucky enough to enjoy.

And if people are linking Twitter and Facebook accounts, does this REALLY affect your experience on Twitter? If it does, then by all means, contact them PRIVATELY and explain how much this disturbs you, but don’t go telling them off in a public forum. If they want advice on social media there are plenty of “experts” that can help, and people will ask for help if they want it and when they are ready for it.

3. Grammar Nazis

Grammar Nazis, love them or hate them, they are here to stay in the social media world. I must admit though, while I hate being called out in front of all my “friends” if I make an error (and although it does humiliate and embarrass you), being corrected really does stay in your mind and you don’t make that mistake again. However, to all you Grammar Nazis out there, please realise there are nice ways of saying things and that we have this new thing now called DIRECT MESSAGING. Send a DM, so you are still getting your point across, still showing that you clearly are the smarter one, but not humiliating people in front of all their “friends”.

4. Political correctness

In this day and age, we have so many bland people who don’t like others making “inappropriate” jokes. I myself have (over the years) been the butt of people’s jokes. I had VERY blonde hair and (until recently) a double G bra size and I got all the dumb blonde jokes! TRUST ME. When I used to say I worked in independent films, the reaction from most people was “What? Debbie Does Dallas? HA HA HA”. So what? This is life, we are allowed to joke. We need to laugh and have fun; life would be unbearable without laughter.

On another note, I have black friends, white friends, Asian friends, Jewish friends, gay friends, lesbian friends, bisexual friends, bogan friends, posh friends, Irish friends and some not-so-bright friends, and I have equally made jokes about all of them to their faces (and have been known to do so on Twitter).

If you truly think that someone on Twitter is homophobic or racist, then you can try to change their opinion, but I am not sure if blasting them is the way to do it. If you are about to lash out at someone who you know has a good heart and might just be making an inappropriate joke, I say, leave it alone. They have that right and do not need you trying to make yourself more superior by reacting.

5. Diets

THANK GOD for Twitter. Some of my lovely followers have helped encourage me to finally get off my arse and get back on the treadmill or run along the Linear Park. This has been fabulous for me and I must say the encouragement I get when I post my running times and distances is a fabulous form of moral support and I cherish every comment. Thank you.

On the flip side, I have seen so many rude, nasty and reactionary comments in regards to dieting. If someone says they have a great no-carb recipe it doesn’t necessarily mean they think carbs are the devil, and you do not need to then explain that all they need to do is workout more and they can then eat as many carbs as they want. We are all bright enough to know what works for us individually; no one diet works for everyone and some people find eating carbs makes them feel like crap.

YOU ARE NOT A DIETITIAN! Even if you are, you were not asked for your advice and by being rude you are just being nasty for the sake of it.
I once watched a girl telling off a no-carb, Paleo girl (PG)saying that PG was putting down “fat” people and it was people like her that created a feeling of hatred toward overweight people just by PG discussing her dietary choice.
Are you freaking kidding me? It’s a diet, it’s her body and if she chooses to live a Paleo lifestyle, then so be it. If you agree in people’s right to a choice (and that is EVERY human being’s right) then let them make their own choices about what they put in their own bodies and just butt out.

Final words

I think I have to finish my little rant now, but read this knowing Twitter can be fun, most people (just like in real life) are wonderful and inclusive. They are full of support, jokes and great advice.

In general, my rule of thumb is this: if you have been asked for your opinion on Twitter, then by all means share it in a constructive manner and if not, maybe think of direct messaging someone and letting them know your thoughts if you feel it’s that important. Don’t embarrass or shame them in a public forum. They are doing their best to be the person they know how to be i.e. themselves and that is the reason you followed them to start with.

Sunday best 29/7/2012

In true magazine style, this week’s Sunday best runs the gamut of gloating at celebrities and to neuroscience. Something for everyone, really.

From PFSK -Artist Danny Evans showcases his latest work What Celebrities Would Look Like As Ordinary People.  And yes: they look worse than us!

From Science Daily – Being in Awe Can Expand Time and Enhance Well-being. It seems that being a traveller is good for me, because whenever I visit other countries, I am completely in awe.

Want to do customer service well? You can’t go past Seth Godin’s post Feet on the street. Be warned though: after reading this, you will expect more from any business you deal with.

Here’s an excellent example of policy not keeping up with practice. Defamation by a Thousand Likes from New Matilda discusses the brave new world of social media and how anyone could be sued for defamation just for liking a Facebook post or retweeting a tweet.

How Language Shapes Your Organisation is gem from Harvard Business School that examines the use of language in a business, and reminds us that what you say as a leader has great power, and words should be chosen and used with great care.

Another post from Harvard Business School that caught my eye this week was Are You Creating Disgruntled Employees? Best of all it tells you – in no uncertain terms – how to undisgruntle them (I like “undisgruntle”, even though I know there’s no such word).

The Great Digital Divide from The Next Web is a timely reminder that not everyone has access to fast internet, and if we aren’t careful whole sectors of the population will be left behind. It’s an extension of the information rich/poor dichotomy.

Don’t know your their from your there or they’re? Or your compliment from your complement? 37 essential rules of writing from PR Daily will explain all.

Finally, and still on the topic of writing, is 5 Ways to Go From Blogger to Published Book Author from Social Media Examiner. As someone who could and should write a book or books, I have taken copious notes (and will be publishing them).

Enjoy!

Made in Heaven

Nostalgia is a wonderful gift. It causes us to view experiences through rose-colored glasses. Things seem to be always better in the past, way back when. Time fades the bad and somehow polishes it into a softer, more conducive and amenable version of the truth.

Recently, I’ve been feeling quite nostalgic about the 80s (who am I kidding? I’m always nostalgic about the 80s!). Anyone who lived through it (pun intended) will know exactly what I mean. It was an exciting decade to be young and carefree. It was for me, anyway. Big hair, big shoulder pads, big living. And the music and films of that decade celebrated life and made you glad you were alive, alcohol notwithstanding. I remember those times with great fondness.

What I do regret, though, is not finding that special person in the 80s. I was engaged briefly when I was 24, and bookended my engagement by falling in love with all the wrong men (bad boys anyone?) because they seemed so, well, interesting. And dark. And challenging. And not boring. Which, of course, doomed me to a good 10 years of unhappiness in the relationship department. It seemed that I could never quite get it together and actually fall for someone decent.

So here I am – nearly 50 – and single, which is the point of this post.

Last Sunday I watched Made In Heaven. It was a favourite of mine in the late 80s and I hadn’t seen it for close to 20 years. The movie is based on the premise that if you fall in love in heaven, then you love forever on Earth. But once you leave heaven (and it’s inevitable that you do) you may take any number of lifetimes to find your soul mate again. You fall for lookalikes – people who look like your soul mate or reflect their essence – and there may be times when you nearly cross paths (perhaps within feet of each other), but for whatever reason don’t. But in the end, you do meet again because chance and opportunity and coincidence eventually conspire to bring you together. Right place, right time, right face.

On one hand I embrace the philosophy behind this movie. Our soul mate is out there and we will be reunited. It certainly explains my restlessness and continued searching for my other. (He’s out there somewhere. I know it. I will find him. Helloooooooo! Here I am! Over here! ). It certainly explains my inability to find my one true love (other than psychoanalysis, of course) because what if all my previous relationships are just pale imitations of my soul mate? There’s something about their essence that’s familiar, but not the real thing.

And on the other hand, I find this idea very depressing. What happens if it takes us a few lifetimes on Earth to find each other? What happens if we can never co-ordinate and when I’m on Earth, he’s in heaven. Or vice versa. Or what if we can’t co-ordinate our ages and we end up with a real life version of Benjamin Button? What happens if Tom Hardy is really my soul mate and we never get to meet in this lifetime because his fame clearly prohibits it? There are more questions, of course. This is just the tip of the philosophic iceberg.

What I do know for sure is that all this wondering about what could be – and may never happen – is an exercise in futility. I’m not sure if there is actually anything after this, so I’d hate to waste this life if this is it. My approach these days – now that I have a few more years under my belt – is to enjoy the ride. Good, bad, awful, beautiful, tragedy, comedy. It’s the journey that’s important, because who knows what the final destination will look like?

In the end, all that matters is que sera sera. What will be will be.

Sunday best 22/7/12

This week’s Sunday best is a diversion from just text-based awesome stuff; I have also seen some awesome film and TV stuff over the last week. Actually it’s been over the last couple of weeks, and it all started with a dream about Tom Hardy. I decided that, given The Dark Knight Rises is out soon and stars His Royal Swooniness (and I did have that dream), I would go on a bit of a Tom Hardy retrospective and seek out his earlier stuff. I found myself witnessing some of the best acting I have seen from one person for a long time. So here is what I’ve watched:

Layer Cake (2004) – this was only a bit part for young Tom (he plays an industrial chemist with student debts), but I enjoyed the movie, not least because Daniel Craig was the lead. I’m new to the whole Guy Ritchie thing (and Tom’s been in a couple) and I *know* that technically this isn’t a Guy Ritchie film, but it had the feel of one. Drugs, turf wars, cracking dialogue, deception and betrayal, it was all there. The end was a quite a twist because I didn’t expect *that* to happen!

Elizabeth 1: The Virgin Queen (2006) – this was a 4 part series made for the BBC. The story focused on the love that Robert Dudley (Tom Hardy) and Elizabeth shared from childhood, and how it never gained a foothold when they were adults, even though it was clear they adored each other. It must have been good, because I cried at the end, which is always the sign of great viewing in my book. I’ll give you a hot tip: the soundtrack is sublime.

Stuart: A life backwards (2007) – This made for TV movie was based on Alexander Master’s book of the same name. Tom plays Stuart Shorter, a homeless junkie who also has muscular dystrophy. It was an uplifting, heart-warming and heart-breaking portrayal of someone who, under normal circumstances, we would not be at all interested in. In fact, we would probably avoid them. Bravo to Tom for bringing humanity, humour and pathos to the role. Oh, and did I mention that I cried at the end?

The Take (2009) – This was also 4 parter, made for TV. Tom went into Bronson territory with this one! He plays a sociopath who is involved in all manner of criminal activity, and terrorises his family with both physical and emotional abuse. He truly is terrifying in this role (but also very handsome!) and it’s a tad scary to think that this bad boy is lurking just below the surface. Fascinating to watch though, and so, so good.

I still have a lot more Tom Hardy stuff to get through. I know it’s a tough job, but someone has to do it!

What sort of blog reader are you?

Last week I wrote about the sort of blogger I am and that got me thinking about the sort of blog reader I am. Bloggers are never just writers and content creators, we are also readers and consumers of content. We don’t – or shouldn’t – operate in a vacuum. Ideas about what to write take form from other sources. At least, they do for me.

I subscribe to a lot of blogs and manage them all via Google Reader, categorized according to what they are about. I find it easier to catch up on my reading this way than to go back and forth between various sites. Everything is nicely accessible in one place. On any given morning I have upwards of 150-200 posts to read. I don’t really read them, though. I mostly just skim through the headlines, and the first couple of paragraphs. Anything that catches my eye in that process, I read “properly” and anything that I think others might like I share on Twitter.

I have a category for bloggers I “know” and it is this category that I generally read properly rather than skim. These are people I know personally, or interact with regularly on Twitter, or who are regular visitors here and comment regularly. I like reading these blogs because of the personal connection I have with each of the writers.

I am fortunate in that I have a number of people who generously comment regularly on what I post. And I like to talk back to readers when they comment. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than making the effort to comment on someone’s blog and then not getting a response from the writer. How rude!

However: that’s not to say that I comment on other people’s blog often. It’s actually quite rare for me to do so, mainly because my Google Reader set-up on my iPhone makes it just that more difficult to do so. But what I do is tweet* the blog link to my Twitter followers and Facebook friends, which I can do very easily from Reader. It’s my way of saying: “Hey! I really like this post. And while I haven’t left a comment, I have told my Twitter followers/Facebook friends about it and I hope this drives some traffic your way.”.

So this post is therefore twofold: I want to say thank you to all my readers and subscribers and to thank those of you who regularly leave comments. I wanted to also say that just because I don’t leave comments on your blog does not mean that I don’t care about you and what you write.

I want to let you know that I try to reciprocate in my own way, even if it’s not a “direct” contribution.

*I have automated the tweeting of links from Google Reader as well. I use ifttt and to do this. Basically, any post that I “star” gets posted to Bufferwhich schedules a tweet. This way I don’t spam people’s Twitter feed with lots of links all at once.

Sunday best 15/7/12

I read some awesome stuff over the course of a week – I subscribe to a A LOT of blogs – and while I tweet as a way of sharing links, I worry that most of it gets lost in the Twitter void.

So what I’ve decided to do is a round-up of the goodies I have come across in my travels during any given week. And I have decided to call it Sunday Best, because (and to plagiarise Bridget Jones) that’s what it is. Be warned though, it’s a bit of an eclectic mix!

1. Calling all women executives: how to break through the glass ceiling without a hammer is from Mark Goulston’s blog. I read his book, Just Listen, which is a fascinating mix of brain science and psychology. Of course, I now subscribe to his blog. This little gem, among other things, tells women exactly how to disarm boys in the boardroom behaving badly. It’s not just for women executives, I might add. Anyone could use these tactics if faced with the same situation.
2. Bullying is a Confidence Game from the Harvard Business Review. The main thing I like about this article is that it urges us to protect ourselves by not giving too much away in the workplace. We think our instincts are good, but the bully reads people for a living, and it’s not always the weak and vulnerable who are at risk. It’s a timely reminder to be careful who we let into our world and to not believe everything we hear.
3. 16 reference works you never knew existed from PR Daily. Talk about eclectic! And it’s true – I didn’t know these existed! It includes such gems as the History of Underclothes; Who’s Who in Hell; and the Dictionary of Imaginary Places.
4. From the Digital Photography School, Travel Photography, Backpacking and Travelling Light. I’m always looking for travel advice, particularly as Mediterranean trip is not too far away. This is an excellent post because it details how to travel light when one is lugging around camera equipment, among other things. The hot tip is: don’t lug!
5. Want to be more effective? Stop over-optimizing! from The Next Web beseeches us to stop striving for perfection. Actually, this post is imploring us to just stop. Stop trying to be 100% all the time in every area because it’s just not possible. Instead, we buy into the notion of over-optimizing and it does our heads in because we either can’t achieve it, or spread ourselves too thin. Of course, we then just feel like failures and the whole cycle starts again.

So there you have it. My Sunday best. What did you find in your reading adventures this week that was interesting?